Season of Lent

I didn’t realize it is Lent season already. (Uh, yeah, guilty of not attending mass for some time now.) So given that, and probably my guilty conscience, I will give up a few things until Easter Sunday, at least.

Starting today, I will be giving up rice, junk food (yes, that includes my forever favorite Marty’s Vegetarian Chicharon), and soft drinks (ala Frank). I’m having second thoughts about rice though because we’ll be going to the beach this Sunday (without Lady! ) and we’ll be feasting! But FASTING is FASTING. Should I give up Twitter or Plurk as well? WAAAAA. Should I? Isn’t “letting go” of my obsessions/addictions part of the essence of fasting? I think I will. YES. I WILL. (Karma freeze right now).

BREAKING NEWS: I will be giving up Plurk for the whole Lent Season (that means for a whole month and a half, until Easter Sunday on the first week of April). Thank goodness Karma freeze only takes 0.5 points now instead of the 1 whole point before! And I will be giving up Twitter during weekdays! Facebook is out of the question as I already deactivated my personal account last week. And Tumblr as well, I won’t be using it already. Will continue blogging though!

And oh, I just remembered, NO PORK on Friday’s! (thinks about the chicharon pig fest from last night – no more of that!). And definitely NO MORE SHOPPING! I’m going to put my foot down on that. My shopping craze should be put to a stop. I vowed a few night ago that I won’t be buying the gazillion high heels that I want until I get a job that includes my own desk and sitting behind it for 8 hours.

 

okthxbye

Happiness Is A Choice

Sometimes I wonder if I should get worried that my major problems in life are minute compared to others. I mean, I am very appreciative to God for all these blessings, but I keep on thinking what if there is something really big in store for me in the next few days, months, years in my life?

Looking back in my 20 years of this world, I guess my major problems are about my weight, money or the lack thereof that could support my lifestyle, reality vs ambition, practicality, sometimes feeling unappreciated, and the fear of loneliness and failure. Truthfully, I have never really suffered much. All the problems I’ve been through I put it up to myself. I once broke down and cried my heart out because I willed myself to, to release all the stress inside me.

I guess it all comes down to choices. I have no other explanation. I could’ve chosen to create mountains out of mole hills but I didn’t. Yes I’m fat, but instead of despairing over it, I tend to think of enjoying it more through my favorite foods. And though I’m a shopaholic in spirit, I do not really spend beyond my means. I’ve learned to budget and restrain myself from impulse shopping. Despite my big ambitions, I weighed options and chose practicality with sacrificing much in terms of quality. And when I feel unappreciated, I have all these memories to lift me up and remind me that I am loved by family and friends, and though I sometimes feel lonely, I would always be able to find company in myself. And more importantly, I know my limits. I never drink without thinking of consequences, I have never smoked nor taken drugs, and I have never had casual sex. I went through high school with decent (if not brilliant) company, and I graduated from college with one of the highest honors in school. My family is middle class but my upbringing is very educated. I am not lacking in any basic needs, and many times than I have cared to count, I get my way with things.

Yes, when I think about it, counting my blessings is far better than being miserable over what I don’t have.

I thank God for giving me all these things that people can only think about. Although I get the occasional deprivation and feeling of self-sacrifice, I am one lucky woman who finds happiness in little things such as getting emails from close friends, looking at childhood photos, finding a cheap and chic outfit at the local mall, enjoying my own company inside the movie theater, or just sipping my favorite Strawberry Milkshake.

I guess it’s attitude, no? In my down times, I would still get to smile a lot uand laugh a lot more, and then everything is somewhat forgotten until the next down time comes along. It’s true what they say, hope springs eternal, and laughter is really the best medicine.  And it’s also true for me at least that HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE.

A Celebration

Late last night, I got a call from my friend Ann telling me that we were already being summoned to Francis’ for the belated celebration of Ankol’s birthday. Since this is going to be my last week of unemployment, I’ve decided I should drink as much as I want and just celebrate.

We talked about this celebration last week. These guys are our closest friends in the village. I’ve known Carlo and Ann since High School, but Carlo, Ann, Seve, and Francis know each other since grade school. We’ve only met Ankol (I honestly don’t know his real name) a few months ago.  From our history, Ann and I knew that we’d be meeting new guys whenever there’re celebrations or just drinking sessions so it was no surprise that when we got there, almost half of the faces were unfamiliar.

It was all good to meet new friends. Ann and I are up to it for sure. There was food and booze, what more could we ask for? We enjoyed a few rounds of drinks, we had hard mixes and 2 cases of beer. Too bad the Blue Margarita was all gone when we got there. We settled for the mix that Kuya Jonde made consisting of Brandy, Iced Tea, Lemon, and Curacao. It was delicious. Kuya Modgie made a beeline for home to get 14 shot glasses so we can all drink up together.

In the midst of all our fun, Kuya Modgie, Ann and Tik Tik decided to do a a challenge on who’d finish all 14 shots the fastest. To make the long story short, Tik Tik won, and Ann… well, let’s just say she got wasted. Actually, only a few of us didn’t get wasted this morning. Everyone got drunk except for Seve and I because we controlled our drinking. So much for drinking as much as I want.  After seeing Ann home, I didn’t drink much anymore just because I didn’t want to.

Last night I’ve witnessed the cliche about drunk men. How they lose their minds and stuff when wasted.  It was the first time that I’ve experienced being talked to in a crude way. I’m very used to hanging out with guys but I was never talked to like that before. I want to be offended however I am aware that in their drunken state, they wouldn’t remember anything the next day. I guess it was my intuition talking earlier when I decided to stop drinking. Lesson learned from the celebration: choose your battles – or in this case, choose your actions and make sound decisions. Hurray for my self-control.

We ended the morning cleaning up after all their mess. We washed the dishes, made sure everyone was comfortable in the bahay kubo and in the living room, and cleaned up the backyard.

I went home at almost 5am already. Before going to bed, I thought about what happened and realized at least two things (1) I don’t want to clean up after others’ mess and (2) I don’t want to be a burden to others therefore I should have more self control.

More photos at my Facebook. Hurray for birthdays, celebrations, and new experiences!

Between Dreams and Reality

Yesterday, a person from a certain company called me for a meeting with my would-be boss to welcome me to the team. They said that from among the applicants, they have chosen me to work for them as the Department Store Account Specialist. However, I am not directly hired by the company, rather I’d be under an agency. But nonetheless I’d be working for a multi-national company. We were supposed to meet today and discuss my benefits, but the would-be boss has to postpone it until tomorrow. That’s the reality.

After years and years of preparation and anticipation, it has always been my dream to work in Manila.  I love the challenge of living there.

So what am I doing in Davao? My dilemma now is whether to accept the job offer here or go to Manila at the end of the month to look for a job. Two of my mentors gave me conflicted feedbacks. My director told me to go for the job here because it will give me good training. On the other hand, my fabulous professor told me to go to Manila because I won’t grow here in Davao. I haven’t really talked with my parents yet. I avoid it because they tend to nag. And I’m sure that they prefer that I work here for the mean time because of financial reasons.

The truth is, I applied for the company here in Davao to fill my time. I know my credentials are good and all that, but since Janine was there, I wasn’t really expecting much. Though I’ve been trying to apply the law of attraction. I had a feeling that I was going to get accepted but I was still hoping otherwise because I’ve made a decision to stay here for a while to get some experience before I go to Manila. But now that an offer to me is already being arranged, I’m having panic attacks.

I remember a conversation I had with my friend RB a few weeks ago. He said that I do well with deviance. In this case, the most unfavorable move for me (in my eyes of my parents, at least) is to ditch the job here and go to Manila. But practicality-wise, it’s SAFER to stay here. Damn.

God. Decisions. I have to think them over right now. Time is running out.

The Worst Lies

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Holding Back